Wow.
It's been too long since my words have touched the virtual pages of this blog. And I wish I could rectify that by filling in the blank piece of my life that is missing. But now is not the time.
I will say, however, that I spent Christmas in England, which was an experience. An experience that unfortunately had to go hand in hand with babysitting young children to whom I am related. I've also been working as a law clerk since September of last year for approximately one-tenth of minimum wage. I enjoy it tremendously despite my salary, and start law school in September of this year. In other news, I finished a ninety-page screenplay in ten days. My first screenplay ever.
Say it with me - wow.
Sad to say, I've become disillusioned. My best friend is a whore. Why is it that I'm nineteen years old and have never been kissed whereas she came within moments of getting laid on my bathroom floor by our mutual "brother" last night?
Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the fact that I'm the kind of friend a guy could pour out all his shit to. I don't mind that. But is that all I'll ever be? A nice enough girl to hang out with, but hell no when it comes to a relationship? A good listening ear, but that's about it? Look, I'm all for conversation. I'm all for soul-baring and soul-sharing. But not that alone. I need something more. I need a connection. I need chemistry.
I want a relationship, goddammit. Why is it that you have to be blonde and skinny and dressed in short skirts and high heels with six inches of makeup on your face to be considered worthwhile? Why is it that my style is weird? What is normal and why should I be forced to be normal in order to be girlfriend material? I don't want to be the best supporting actor forever. Why can't I be a leading lady in my own right?
But alas...I fear I'm already typecast.
I will say, however, that I spent Christmas in England, which was an experience. An experience that unfortunately had to go hand in hand with babysitting young children to whom I am related. I've also been working as a law clerk since September of last year for approximately one-tenth of minimum wage. I enjoy it tremendously despite my salary, and start law school in September of this year. In other news, I finished a ninety-page screenplay in ten days. My first screenplay ever.
Say it with me - wow.
Sad to say, I've become disillusioned. My best friend is a whore. Why is it that I'm nineteen years old and have never been kissed whereas she came within moments of getting laid on my bathroom floor by our mutual "brother" last night?
Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the fact that I'm the kind of friend a guy could pour out all his shit to. I don't mind that. But is that all I'll ever be? A nice enough girl to hang out with, but hell no when it comes to a relationship? A good listening ear, but that's about it? Look, I'm all for conversation. I'm all for soul-baring and soul-sharing. But not that alone. I need something more. I need a connection. I need chemistry.
I want a relationship, goddammit. Why is it that you have to be blonde and skinny and dressed in short skirts and high heels with six inches of makeup on your face to be considered worthwhile? Why is it that my style is weird? What is normal and why should I be forced to be normal in order to be girlfriend material? I don't want to be the best supporting actor forever. Why can't I be a leading lady in my own right?
But alas...I fear I'm already typecast.
posted by Ariana at 6:20 PM
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