Breathe
Two a.m. and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake - "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season."
*sighs*...
No, I don't love him. Don't even come close to liking him. But whatever. Rahil's in the past. And the past is dead. The past is the ashes of the present, and today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday. Ah well.
Cigarette count is two for last night, one right after the other. Got lightheaded, actually had to hold on to the bars of the wrought-iron so I wouldn't fall. Kinda fun. I think it took like five minutes to go through each cigarette. I know one's supposed to last half an hour...that's kinda eerie...
Life could be worse, I guess. Had a partially freaky dream last night and remembered it when I woke up but of course my memory has since made it foggier and foggier and more and more corrupt. So now I'm not sure whether it actually had a purple rhinoceros or whether that's just my imagination filling in the blank spaces in my cottage-cheese memory. That tends to happen a lot...sucks, really, but hey - at least I haven't inserted a gigantic cat and some pyramids...my dreams have been rather Egyptian in theme and alarmingly long in scope as of late...
My song of the moment, as should be obvious, is Breathe. Which is what I'm trying to do, more or less. Cradle my head in my hands and breathe. And try to force myself to remember that this world is fucked up enough without me having to add any more complications.
I don't care what you think. Any of you. I am who I am and I don't see why it should affect you. So what if society thinks I'm a rebel or a goth or a whore or a lesbian? I could be all four or none and it'd still be none of your business. Why should your opinion matter to me? Why should you tell me how to run my life? I don't have long enough on this earth to waste time with conformity and rules. I'll damn well make my own.
And on that note, I think I'll be off. But wait...a quote...
“Nyx’s MRI-generated hemispheric surface display shows evidence of aphasia caused by corticobasal degeneration.”
“I dare you to say that again.”
*sighs*...
No, I don't love him. Don't even come close to liking him. But whatever. Rahil's in the past. And the past is dead. The past is the ashes of the present, and today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday. Ah well.
Cigarette count is two for last night, one right after the other. Got lightheaded, actually had to hold on to the bars of the wrought-iron so I wouldn't fall. Kinda fun. I think it took like five minutes to go through each cigarette. I know one's supposed to last half an hour...that's kinda eerie...
Life could be worse, I guess. Had a partially freaky dream last night and remembered it when I woke up but of course my memory has since made it foggier and foggier and more and more corrupt. So now I'm not sure whether it actually had a purple rhinoceros or whether that's just my imagination filling in the blank spaces in my cottage-cheese memory. That tends to happen a lot...sucks, really, but hey - at least I haven't inserted a gigantic cat and some pyramids...my dreams have been rather Egyptian in theme and alarmingly long in scope as of late...
My song of the moment, as should be obvious, is Breathe. Which is what I'm trying to do, more or less. Cradle my head in my hands and breathe. And try to force myself to remember that this world is fucked up enough without me having to add any more complications.
I don't care what you think. Any of you. I am who I am and I don't see why it should affect you. So what if society thinks I'm a rebel or a goth or a whore or a lesbian? I could be all four or none and it'd still be none of your business. Why should your opinion matter to me? Why should you tell me how to run my life? I don't have long enough on this earth to waste time with conformity and rules. I'll damn well make my own.
And on that note, I think I'll be off. But wait...a quote...
“Nyx’s MRI-generated hemispheric surface display shows evidence of aphasia caused by corticobasal degeneration.”
“I dare you to say that again.”
posted by Ariana at 5:19 AM
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